11 September 2013

… was the day I passed my DPhil viva, which happened to fall on the same day that most people around the world unite to remember another, tragic event.

Some people may think that it’s just another degree where you just follow some structured programme and finish at the end of it. In my case, it didn’t happen quite as smoothly as I wanted it to be. What does, right? Otherwise, perhaps, it wouldn’t have left such a huge impact on my way of thinking and learning. And guess what, the DPhil very likely may not be my last degree, HAHA!

This one degree I obtained from Oxford came with a big package, both in terms of personal (starting a family of four) and academic experiences (painful but ultimately completely worthwhile drilling and training by my supervisor). Indeed, I am so grateful and very much relieved now, and never once regret to have it done in 5+ years. It has really molded and transformed me to become a better person.

As an academic with a DPhil/PhD certificate, it’s not the material and worldly gain that I am after. If you want to earn a lot of money quickly, don’t ever enter academia. You will get frustrated, especially when you compare what your friends are earning in the private sector. While others have bought this and that property, travelled here and there, etc. we don’t even own a house yet!

Our approach to life is to go with the flow by keeping it simple yet satisfying at the same time. We try to keep our life flexible and not be burdened with a lot of debt. Most importantly, we want to enjoy the present moment Allah has given us. We savour every moment we spend with our children, and relish every opportunity we can sneak out for a date.

That’s why in preparing for life in the Hereafter, everyday, I try to always remind myself to focus in doing the best in preparing the three things that will help us there: beneficial knowledge, righteous offspring, and sincere charity. We may not be rich and able to give big donations, so we give our best effort in teaching and guiding our students, and raise our children to become our “pencen kubur” (quoting Prof. Muhaya).

© Gillman & Soame

I can say I am lucky, alhamdulillah, to be married to an academic, who understands so much about the pains and frustrations in the academic world. One to whom I can relate so much and at the same time count on to give constructive feedback and brilliant ideas to move on and never give up. I am lucky too to be surrounded by supportive parents and friends, who remind me that at the end of the day all the crap just don’t matter. And above all I know that it’s important to always remind myself to count all the blessings Allah has given me.

My DPhil is just the beginning of many good things that Allah will bless upon me and my family, insya-Allah. I know that tests and tribulations in life are inevitable. Insya-Allah, my Oxford experience has taught me so much that I have become a person with the required virtues and firm belief in facing what the world has yet to challenge.

In a book I read the other day, the author wrote that he reads the acknowledgments of any book with curiosity. I can relate to how the author must have felt, as I do the same too. I remember when I wrote the acknowledgments in my thesis, it wasn’t long before I realised tears welling up in my eyes. After thanking Simon and the examiners;

… I must admit that having a strong support group when you are doing your DPhil is really vital. To the administrative staff at Life Sciences Interface DTC, Department of Statistics, Wolfson College and Mathematical, Physical and Life Sciences Division, thank you so much for all the assistance. Indeed, I have learnt a lot when dealing with them. Not to forget, to the MMM (McVean-Myers-Marchini) group, my family and Oxford friends who had been very supportive, thank you too.

A special thanks to both my parents, for all the assistance and motivating words, for never giving up hope on me and most importantly, for the endless prayers and unconditional love. Finally, to my dearest Nazri, I couldn’t thank you enough for the sacrifice during the long process of working on this research and writing the thesis. I wish things will be much easier for your PhD and I am sure you will get it through too. To both my DPhil thesis babies, Omar and Imran, I dedicate this thesis to you and may this thesis inspire both of you to always be thirst for knowledge.

Whenever Omar sometimes says that he wants to go to Oxford, or that he misses Oxford, I tell him that I do too. Hopefully, he will do PPE there, ;) I pray that my children, and all our future generations will have the same love and thirst for knowledge as their ancestors (cannot help slipping some genetics language, HAHA!).

Wow, this post has really grown very long! I must stop. Remember everyone, to always count your blessings.

Once in a Lifetime

If anything, a DPhil graduation counts as a once in a lifetime event.

Afi received her leave to supplicate from the University of Oxford last December, which formally notified her of the successful completion of her DPhil. After that, the only thing left to do was to attend the graduation ceremony, either in person or in absentia. Obviously, she chose the former.

It meant so much to Afi to attend her DPhil graduation ceremony at the iconic Sheldonian Theatre. She left for Oxford in 2006, but whenever asked she’ll always quick to add that she only started on her research proper in 2008. Getting a PhD is tough, as everybody says, and it wasn’t easy for her as well. She made plenty of sacrifices, and shed a lot of tears, such that attending the graduation ceremony meant so much more than dressing up in a fancy robe and shaking the hand of the Vice Chancellor.

Now she has got her DPhil, along with all the honours, confidence and skills that come with it. She is also a wife and a mother of two. Omar was born in Oxford in July 2010 while Imran was born just days after she submitted her thesis in April last year. Her DPhil work was on genetics, after a master’s degree in medical imaging, and a bachelor’s degree in computers before that. Perhaps it would have been easier if she did all her degrees in the same field, though perhaps it wouldn’t be half as interesting.

The graduation ceremony, or degree ceremony as it is properly called at the University of Oxford, was held on Saturday, 2 August at 2.30 p.m. While the ceremony proper at the Sheldonian Theatre was only about 1.5 hours, there were also events held earlier in the day at her college, Wolfson College, making it really a whole day affair.

But before that, I have to write about the small scare Afi had with her DPhil robe. When she went to the shop to pick up her robe on Friday, the day before the ceremony, they couldn’t find her order. And the person with whom she corresponded with was away on vacation! Thankfully, they had one—an only one—of her size at the store, though of a different material to the one she ordered. It still needed to be altered, however, which they promised to do overnight.

So we went out to town the first thing Saturday morning to collect the robe before heading to Wolfson for the morning’s events. First, we had our pictures taken by an official photographer—one of Afi on her own, one of the four of us, and one of us four plus Afi’s Mak. It rained lightly that whole morning but the rain paused just for the few minutes when our pictures were taken. We then waited while Afi attended a small Signing of the Graces ceremony with the Dean of Degrees.

This was followed by a formal lunch hosted again by the Dean of Degrees representing the college President. We were treated to a nice and simple poached salmon and green beans dish (during which “someone” didn’t finish her greens!). Just as Prof. Sykes rose to deliver his speech towards the end of the meal, Imran started to become restless and agitated that I had to take him out of the hall.

After lunch we went straight to the Sheldonian Theatre for the degree ceremony. There was very limited parking at the city centre, so I dropped everybody off in front of the building on Broad Street before finding a place to the car near the Oxford University Club on Mansfield Road. When I arrived, Mak and the boys were the only people outside the Sheldonian Theatre. Afi had already joined the other graduands in preparation of the degree ceremony.

Considering our two young boys and Mak’s weak knees, we were allowed to sit at the ground level by the door while other guests occupy the upper gallery area. Magnificent pipe organ music filled the air inside the Sheldonian Theatre. We could see the graduands in their gowns sitting near the centre of the hall, but couldn’t make out where Afi was.

The ceremony started with the entry of the Vice Chancellor, who proceeded to give a speech. I thought that it was a very good and well delivered speech, even though it could be because he had given the same speech many times. Prof. Hamilton talked about the values, history and tradition of the university, and congratulated the graduands for their accomplishments. My favourite part of the speech was when he asked the guests to join him in giving the graduands a round of applause, and then asked the graduands to rise, look at their loved ones, and return the applause.

Prof. Hamilton also said that unlike the festive air at some other universities, it was long decided at Oxford that a solemn mood was best for the degree ceremony. I agree. That, and the fact the fact that the rest of the ceremony was conducted in Latin, added up to an almost mystical air. They could, however, make it even cooler by holding the degree ceremony at night in candlelight with everybody wearing a hood.

The University of Oxford degree ceremony was at the same time simpler and more complicated compared to other universities. It was simpler in the sense that the whole ceremony took less than 1.5 hours, yet more complicated in having that bit more ceremony involved, which you can read all about here. Basically, the names of the graduands were first read out. They were then presented to the Vice Chancellor and Proctors, who would “admit” them. The admitted graduands then left the hall before returning wearing the gowns of their new degrees. One by one, each new doctor shook the hand of the Vice Chancellor before taking a seat in a semi-circle behind the Vice Chancellor and Proctors.

Where we were seated, we could barely see Afi when she was presented and admitted, but she walked right past us when she exited the hall with a huge smile. We also had an excellent view of her shaking the Vice Chancellor’s hand afterwards. Amazingly, Imran slept soundly through the whole ceremony. After the ceremony we took some pictures around the Sheldonian Theatre. We would have liked to take some more, around Bodleian Library, Radcliffe Camera, etc. but the boys were already tired.

So we called it a day. A day unlike any other. As Omar would say, it was the day we saw Afi became a doctor.