Where Is My Nail Clipper?

I lost my nail clipper. I looked everywhere (everywhere I bother to look, that is) and couldn’t find it. Where is my nail clipper?

This is really irritating. It is irritating that my nails are already (let me check) 1.5mm longer than they should be. It is irritating that I now have to go buy myself a new nail clipper. It is irritating that I am irritated over a small, unsophisticated tool invented, supposedly, in 1896!

It’s not like cutting one’s nail particularly exciting either. I don’t like having to cut my nails every week. But I hate having them long even more. Even with all the hype about bio-engineering, gene-therapy and what not, I suppose a keratin growth inhibitor is not high on the priority list. Nail clippers as we have today may well be about as high tech as nail clippers will get. For so long now I’ve been wishing for someone to invent something like the electric pencil sharpener, but for cutting nails. You’ll just stick a finger into the machine, and voilà, perfectly manicured nails!