Zombies

Now that the worldwide zombie infestation has reached our shores, particularly Kampung Pisang, it is very important that all Malaysians be prepared for when it happens next. Thankfully, the good people at Wired recently published an article on everything we need to know to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse in the Wired How-To Wiki.

Apparently, there are three kinds of zombies – natural zombies, supernatural zombies, and alien zombies. The guide concentrates mainly on dealing with alien zombies. I suppose the kinds in Kampung Pisang count as alien zombies too.

The only thing, however, is that the discussion on anti-zombie weaponry seems to be restricted to only projectile weapons i.e. guns. Ah, the Mat Sallehs and their guns. Haven’t they learned that firepower is not always the answer? When facing a small horde of zombies in a closed or confined area a katana is the ideal weapon to have to hack off those zombie heads. A chainsaw may seem like a good idea, but what if you run out of gas?

With guns you can run out of bullets too. Thankfully in Malaysia, SME Ordnance make bullets. Just hope they all fire.

Some Malay chauvinists may want to insist on the superiority of the keris as a weapon. The problem with that is that the keris is a more of a stabbing weapon and you cannot kill zombies by stabbing them with a keris, even a poisoned or charmed one. For one they are already dead, and poisons (or otherwise some form of infection) may be how they became zombies in the first place. Second, the keris is a tad too short, and you never want to get too close to a zombie.

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PS: I am still recovering from a cold.