(Got to) Have Faith

“This is not an English class and I’m not marking your language,” I always tell my students on the first day of class, “but if I cannot understand what you’re writing, then it does become an issue”.

Especially as an English (and Arabic)-medium institution, the students’ command of English is embarrassing. Forget about grammar, they often can’t even spell, which is unfortunate considering English is taught from Day One in our education system. Half the time I cannot understand what’s being written. The other half the sentences say exactly the opposite of what the students presumably mean to say.

Since we really want to give the students marks and make them pass, it is very tempting to resort to scanning for keywords or guessing – very optimistically – what they are trying to say.

Both are, well, wrong. So like it or not I still have to look at the language, as ultimately I can only take the answers literally, at face value, because as much as I fancy the idea, I really cannot read minds.

I gave a quiz today, and here are some of the interesting questions I get from the students during the quiz:

Sir, what does lumber mean?
Lumber is processed timber.
What is timber?

(Same student) What is a mill?

(Another student) What are bowling balls?

Quite recently a minister proposed that universities conduct programs to improve students’ general knowledge. Yes, why the hell not? We can teach them how to juggle too while we’re at it.

:-P